fix yourself and find lov e

About unbreakyourheart

I’m Lesley Cannell, a professional psychologist who’s dedicated her whole career to discovering and developing ways for people to change their behaviour, beliefs and self-esteem

As a result I’ve been able to help thousands of clients to overcome long-standing issues and make profound and lasting changes in many areas of their lives, including their relationships. And in the process I also managed to fix myself, break out of my pattern of disastrous relationships… and find love with a man who makes me very happy.

I designed the unbreakyourheart online programme to combine the best tools and techniques I’ve discovered and to make them available to women who are fed up having painful or disappointing relationships with the ‘wrong’ guys and really want to make some permanent changes so they can find love. Could this be you?

If so, you may be wondering whether this programme is right for you. On our HOME page you’ll find a description of the women I created this programme for and what makes it special. And there’s more about what’s involved and how it works in ONLINE PROGRAMME. Here I’ll explain a little about who I am and how I developed unbreakyourheart, (including my own relationship journey), so you can be confident about trusting this programme. I’ll also give you a few lovely examples of how my clients have changed as a result of using this approach.

Why you can trust unbreakyourheart

Reason #1

Created by a professionally qualified and highly experienced psychologist

I’m a Chartered Psychologist and Associate Fellow of the British Psychological Society and I gained a Masters degree in Psychology from University College London in the 1980s. I’ve been helping to ‘fix’ broken-hearted clients in a professional capacity for more than twenty-five years, working with demanding multinational companies and private clients from around the world.

Early in my career I noticed that conventional methods for helping people change had limited long-term impact, so I started seeking out and developing alternatives. After a hard slog, a few blind alleys and a lot of light bulb moments I ended up with a combination of powerful techniques that can enable people to change themselves and their relationships for good… and together they make up the process I have called unbreakyourheart.

“I can vouch for the tools and techniques that make up the unbreakyourheart online programme because I’ve seen them make a real and lasting difference to my clients’ lives and relationships.”

So I’m NOT just an Internet entrepreneur with a catchy idea, who’s hoping to earn millions by using tricks to get to the top of Google searches. I’m NOT a social media ‘star’ who’s trying to grab followers’ attention with viral marketing videos. And nor am I a journalist who’s just edited together other people’s writing or a TV personality who’s used her fame to jump to the top of the bestseller list.

Instead, you can trust that I know what I’m talking about because I’ve dedicated my whole professional career to discovering and developing the knowledge and tools you’ll find in this online programme.

And it’s different from many other self-help websites, books, blogs and videos about relationships because I’m not going to insult your intelligence by giving you ‘Ten Tips’ to solve anything – if it were that easy you’d have done it by now. I’m not going to suggest affirmations (or prayer) and nor am I going to teach you tricks and tactics that try to turn you into someone you’re not. And, even more unusually, I DON’T expect you to change by using willpower alone… that’s far too hard.

Instead I’m going to guide you through an in-depth process to help you understand WHY your relationship history is messed up and then start to change yourself profoundly and permanently so your future can be very different.

I can vouch for the tools and techniques that make up the unbreakyourheart online programme because I’ve seen them make a real and lasting difference to my clients’ lives and relationships. I’ve included some examples later on.

And members can be further reassured because:

“As a Chartered Psychologist regulated by the Health and Care Professions Council in the UK, I’m bound by the highest standards of professionalism and integrity.”

You can click here to check out my professional qualifications, training and experience or click below to get started right away.

Start part 1 for free

Reason #2

Underpinned by LOTS of fascinating psychological research and latest best practice

By nature I’m not an academic who’s far removed from the real world or someone who enjoys theories and ideas or their own sake. I’m a pragmatist with a passion for helping people change, so I’m most interested in techniques that prove useful and really make a difference to my clients (and myself).

However, in developing the unbreakyourheart online programme I’ve drawn on lots of excellent academic studies from universities and research institutions around the world. I’ve trawled through endless journals and research articles – in the fields of psychology and neuroscience – to find scientific explanations for WHY we get caught up in painful relationships, HOW the tools and techniques I use enable us to let go of emotional obstacles, change our old patterns and break free from the past… and WHAT we need to do to have happy, lasting relationships.

Years of training and experience as a psychologist make me evaluate everything I discover very carefully and I only hold onto research findings that are valid and reliable. Conclusions based on a study of five students on a remote university campus or a group of monkeys in a laboratory – or worse, theories invented by a few friends in a bar – just don’t make the grade!
And I’ve been very honest with myself – keeping an open mind and being prepared to change my opinion in the light of new evidence.

In fact I’m so keen to make the programme as good as it can be that I search extra hard for any evidence that contradicts or creates doubt about the approach I’ve developed. Even so, I’ve been reassured that the overwhelming majority of the studies I’ve read have supported my thinking.

There’ve been a few great surprises along the way:

  • In recent years, fascinating new techniques have been developed in the fields of neuroscience, physiology and endocrinology, which are giving psychologists and other scientists a far greater understanding of what’s going on in the human brain and nervous system, how it affects our emotions, thoughts, memories and behaviour… and what this might mean for our relationships.
  • Rapid advances in the study of DNA are helping us explore the extent to which certain characteristics, (such as empathy or jealousy), are pre-programmed into our genes.
  • Scientists have recently discovered there are around 10,000 neurons inside our HEART. Neurons are the cells that enable us to think, and they’re normally found in our brain. So this suggests that ‘thinking with your heart instead of your head’, a recurring theme in PART 4 of my online programme, may be more than just a metaphor!
  • And I was really excited to come across long-term research into what makes relationships successful. Researchers compared the behaviour of couples who stayed together happily with those who broke up, to identify what actually works (rather than what experts think should work). Their findings can predict accurately, whether two people who just got together are likely to make a go of it and help us understand why. It’s especially intriguing when the findings contradict what many therapists and relationship experts have recommended for years! Needless to say, you’ll find lots more about this in my online programme.

So whenever I come across fascinating, up-to-the-minute research that might help us understand who we are, why our relationships get messed up and how to put things right, I add it to the programme.

Some of the tools and techniques in PART 5: THE RELATIONSHIP TOOLKIT don’t have published research evidence to back them up, but they earned their place because the expert who developed them has a really strong track record and has provided lots of anecdotal evidence that they work. And there are a few things that have no independent evidence base at all, but they’ve made such a difference to my clients’ lives, time and again, that I thought, “I HAVE to share this too”!

I’ve included references and links to the most useful and interesting source material, and as I discover new information and resources I’m adding them to the programme. So you can use unbreakyourheart as a portal to take you straight to the areas that interest you most, giving you a head start and cutting out the trial-and-error that’s taken up so many years of my life!

Sign up for free

Reason #3

I understand what you’re going through

You can also trust that I know what I’m talking about because I’ve been on the unbreakyourheart journey. Although I was always a big success professionally, my personal life used to be a train wreck. I WAS that broken-hearted woman who kept making terrible relationship choices even though I should have known better. I wasted many years doing things all wrong in relationships, crying a lot and wishing the men in my life would change… all the time looking for explanations and ways to turn things around.

I worked very hard on myself but progress was painfully slow because I was operating by trial-and-error. Even when I knew what I should be doing and was trying my best to do it, somehow I kept falling back into the same old patterns. Often it felt like ‘two steps forward, two steps back’… until I started working through the same process I was using with my clients. That’s when things really began to change.

So I have a deep understanding of what it’s like to be caught up in painful, hurtful, messed up, unhealthy and waste-of-time relationships with the wrong guys, that damage your self-esteem, bring out the worst in you or leave you with a broken heart. And it’s an understanding I could never have got just from reading the research or even working with clients who are in that situation.

“Unless you’ve been there, it’s hard to understand why any woman carries on putting up with a miserable relationship… especially a resourceful woman who usually knows how to run her own life.”

When a relationship is hurting you or when it’s always really hard work, the logical thing is just to walk away. But I know from personal experience it’s not always that simple.

Of course, every situation is different and I can’t claim to know exactly what anyone else is feeling. But having lived through a whole string of relationship that hooked me in with ‘special chemistry’ or eroded my confidence and left me second-guessing myself, I can really connect with the complex feelings that keep many women stuck in hurtful relationships or repeating the same old patterns with the next guy. I know how easy it is to take the blame for everything that goes wrong… or to focus all your attention on the guy, wishing he would change or trying to work out how to get him to love you.

I also know how it feels to mess things up with a guy who could be right for you, especially if you’ve been working on yourself for quite a while… when some leftover jealousy, insecurity, hurt, fear or anger suddenly bursts out and catches you off guard or you make some mistakes and drive a good guy away. And how important it is to let yourself off the hook and trust that things WILL get better.

“And the good news is… I also know how FANTASTIC it feels when you finally fix yourself, leave your past behind… and find a loving relationship that makes you genuinely happy!”

Yes, once I’d sorted out enough of my issues and felt much so much better about myself, I was no longer attracted to those guys who were wrong for me. And after being very happy on my own for a while, I met and fell in love with a wonderful man who ticks all the important boxes on my relationship wish list.

In my ebook, I describe some of my disastrous relationships and how a series of amazing coincidences led me to my lovely man. As a very private person it wasn’t easy to share these details but I did it so other women could appreciate how far I travelled and how much better life can be when you unbreakyourheart.

I’m delighted to say Antonio and I have been together since 2014 and it’s really great! I had a few wobbles in the early days and I’m still practising what I learned about ‘doing relationships’ effectively. But I’m a VERY different person from the one who started out on that journey to fix myself all those years ago… and a thousand times happier.

“It was only by being in a positive, loving relationship with a really good man that I realised how awful my exes were… and how tough it was going through all those experiences alone”

That’s why I’ve dedicated years of my life to creating the unbreakyourheart interactive online programme – so that other women who are having a hard time in relationships can have access to the tools and techniques that have helped me and so many of my lovely clients to make profound and lasting changes in our lives and our relationships.

And it’s also why members of unbreakyourheart are part of a closed, invitation-only group – where we can share our stories and support each other – so you don’t have to feel alone while you’re in the process of changing because you’re with other women who understand.

The unbreakyourheart process really did enable me to fix myself, break my pattern of disastrous relationships… and find love. For me it was a tough and uncertain road, but with this online programme you can access the very best of the tools, techniques, insight and resources I’ve discovered over the years…. a bit like joining the fast track!

So are you ready to unbreakyourheart? Click below to get started right away:

Start now

PLEASE NOTE: THIS PROGRAMME IS NOT INTENDED TO CONSTITUTE ADVICE. PLEASE SEEK SPECIALIST PROFESSIONAL HELP IF YOU FEEL YOU MIGHT NEED IT. THERE‘S MORE INFORMATION HERE ABOUT HOW YOU MIGHT FIND A SUITABLY QUALIFIED PSYCHOLOGIST OR THERAPIST.

The magic that can follow when you unbreakyourheart

To give you a flavour of how life can be different after you unbreakyourheart I’d like to share a few real-life examples from my work with clients.

Much of my professional career has been spent helping clients in a business setting, using the same tools and techniques that make up the unbreakyourheart process. Clients are invariably surprised and delighted by the big changes that follow. They feel very different and that makes them behave very differently – not only at work but most significantly in their personal relationships. In fact many of them say the BIGGEST benefit they gained from the process was in their romantic and family relationships…

  • A normally friendly client often flew into an uncontrollable rage when something touched a raw nerve. Afterwards he felt embarrassed and had to apologise to his colleagues or family members, who kept their distance because his anger was quite scary. He was single and had no children but his small nieces were nervous around him and stayed out of the way when he came over.

    After he cleared out the root cause of his rage and several other issues, this no longer happened and he became much calmer and nicer to be around. His little nieces spontaneously cuddled up to him on the sofa – children have great instincts – and within a year he had met and moved in with a lovely woman.

  • A married woman with three children discovered her husband had been having a ‘flirtation’ with one of her friends. He swore they’d only been texting and talking on the phone and nothing else had happened. He was very ashamed and begged her forgiveness and she believed him, as this was so out of character. She wanted their relationship to get back to normal, but the jealousy and hurt reminded her of painful experiences from her past and she couldn’t get over it.

    After months of trying to make things right and being pushed away, her husband was becoming distant and she thought they might split up. But by working on the root cause of her issues and identifying what was fundamentally important to her using the unbreakyourheart process, this woman was able to disconnect from her past, get the situation into perspective, forgive her husband and heal their rift. Five years later their marriage is stronger than ever…

Here are some more examples of the deep and lasting changes clients have made as a result of techniques that make up the unbreakyourheart process.

  • Ending damaging relationships they previously felt powerless to leave or didn’t even realise were bad, with partners who were selfish, controlling, unavailable or, in a few cases, abusive.
  • Raising their expectations of how their existing partner should behave, (in line with their own increased self-esteem), and managing to get their partner to treat them more respectfully.
  • Becoming closer to their existing partner by lowering their barriers and letting their partner get closer or by listening better and increasing the feeling of connection.
  • Starting to enjoy their own company and realising it’s OK to be alone for a while so they don’t have to rush into the wrong relationship.
  • Gaining self-confidence and happiness and learning to trust their intuition about other people.
  • Changing their old relationship patterns and starting to date much kinder, more caring people who really appreciate them.
  • Finding new and more loving long-term relationships and marriages with partners who are right for them – there are quite a few of these!

And I was really happy when…

  • A client who’d been estranged from her daughter because of her anxious, over-controlling behaviour fixed the root cause and learned how to listen… and their close relationship was restored.
  • Two women fulfilled their dream of getting pregnant, after years of trying and having pretty much given up hope. Amazingly one of them only worked on this issue with me for twenty minutes over lunch!.
  • And one lovely man, (who worked 80 hours a week and occasionally slept in his office), stopped being a workaholic changed to a career he loved… and married his long-term girlfriend!.

Remember, this is NOT a quick fix but an in-depth process that requires a commitment of time and energy… but the results are so worth it. So are you ready to unbreakyourheart and start changing your relationships (and your life), for the better? If so I’d really love to help.

Start now

Blog

What makes the ‘wrong’ guys so irresistible?
May 24, 2018 Relationships

What makes the ‘wrong’ guys so irresistible?

A client of mine once said, “If there were ninety nine guys in a bar who could make me happy and one who’d really mess me up, I’d always manage to pick the wrong one”. And she’s certainly not alone. So what makes the ‘wrong’ guys so appealing to some women… and are YOU one of them?

Read more